A quick preface: this isn't a typical 'Hotel', it's an Ayurveda retreat.
I knew nothing about Ayurveda and am a typical Scottish person who likes a drink and frowns at health so it was a bit of an odd encounter for me at first.
Somatheeram is a traditional holistic Indian health spa at heart with pretty good hotel facilities attached.
If you expect a hotel bar, minibar, and TV you will be disappointed as you won't find these here. In what I learned to be the traditional spirit of Ayurveda (kinda stands for 'life in balance' or something... as it was explained to me) the focus is on constant pampering, massage, healthy food, nature and so on.
Somatheeram is apparently the best Ayurveda resort in the world and if this is your bag you will love it. It has a beautiful beach, wonderfully nice people, natural settings, focus on ecology, great Indian veggie food (don't just stick to the buffet, there's much better available A la carte).
There are a couple of oddities, most prominent is that there are 2 connected but unconnected resorts side by side both called Somatheeram, it's something to do with a family dispute between brothers and nephews and it's very weird. You can go between the resorts freely (as well as the adjacent resort Manaltheeram which in my view is probably a better option as I found myself there for dinner and by the pool a lot and the services were identical) but they seem to be aimed at a different market. ish. Anyway, Note to the owners: sort it out, it's confusing and strange for guests.
On the positive side; rooms are nice, cleanliness is good, treatments (so I'm told) were good, beach is close and the staff are really very sweet indeed.
Small tip: the management and reception staff speak good English (and russian/german) but the waiters with a few exceptions don't speak so well but have a tendency to nod as if they understand then bring you something else. Try to identify those with whom you can communicate with well. From me it was Nisa in Manaltheeram and her boyfriend in Somatheeram who were best in this light although they were all very good intentioned.
Room Tip: BE FIRM WITH THE HAWKERS SELLING STUFF ON THE BEACH AND VILLAGE! There's a western trait of try...